The Direct Care Way

My Loved One Doesn't Support My Vision

December 13, 2022 Tea Nguyen, DPM Season 1 Episode 44
The Direct Care Way
My Loved One Doesn't Support My Vision
Show Notes Transcript

Have you ever found yourself really excited for your future, then you share a piece of that with a loved one hoping they’d respond with the same enthusiasm and they respond radically different?

I share my experience on how to deal with these scenarios, managing your expectations, and to keep doing you. Try not to absorb their insecurities. 

Dr. T  0:00  
Owners of a direct care practice are more likely to experience higher job satisfaction than the insurance based practice. And it's no wonder why direct care is independent of insurance. Patients pay the doctor directly for their expertise, the doctor gets full autonomy in how they care for patients and how they get paid. They have chosen this path with a love of medicine. This is the direct care way. 

Dr. T  0:24  
By listening to this podcast, you may even start to believe that you too can have a successful direct care practice. Come listen with an open mind as I share my personal journey and how I pivoted from an insurance based practice to direct care right in the middle of the pandemic. And the valuable lessons along the way. This podcast may be the very thing you need to revitalize your medical practice. I'm your host, owner of a direct care podiatry practice Dr. Tea Nguyen.

Dr. T  0:52  
Welcome to another episode. It's holiday season, which means you're probably going to encounter a lot of your family members, friends who maybe you haven't seen for a while. And I put this episode together because I wanted to share something really important that others have shared with me as well. And that is what do you do when your family doesn't support your vision? You might be hearing my daughter in the background. Don't mind her. Again, it's it's family time, it's holiday season. And I thought I would put this together real quick as kind of a mental refresher for expectations and how to really preserve your energy so that you are truly focused on your future. Here's a question for you. Have you ever found yourself really excited for your future, then you share a piece of that dream with a loved one, hoping that they would respond with the same enthusiasm. But instead, they responded totally different. I want to share with you my own recurring experience with this. So about me, I am a dreamer, and a doer of many things. And I've taken a lot of pride in having the discipline to become more focused about my professional career. Throughout the years. 

Dr. T  2:02  
My fulfillment comes from creative endeavors, whether it's dancing, scrapbooking, podcasting, writing, dabbling into things that are outside of my comfort zone, like pole dancing, refer to Episode One. And my friendship circle is quite small. So I share some things with some people, there really isn't one person I share all of my dreams with. And some friends just don't have interest in that part of me. And I want you to know that that's okay. I definitely don't have a tight bond with my family members to even think of having these conversations with them. So when I do share something, it's with people who have a significant part in my life. I was listening to a podcast by Brendon Burchard, where he was talking about how to be a great friend. And that could mean listening to your friends deepest desire with complete interest. Even if you don't have personal interest in it. Being interested in their dream, by just listening is the best gift that you can do for a friend. The thing is not a lot of people really recognize this skill set that it's incredibly valuable to just be a set of ears to somebody who wants to share stuff with you. 

Dr. T  3:17  
And many people will just choose to have conversations around things that are are of interest to both people, which is really wonderful. That's where we bond. But sometimes we just really have to recognize that we are unique individuals with different interest. So let's say you said something that you wanted to share with a loved one. And they have a response that was completely opposite of what you were expecting. If you listen close enough to what they're saying, and how they're saying it, it will really show you what they're thinking and feeling. So they may be reflecting their personal insecurities onto you just realize that that is not really a reflection of who you are, but how they perceive the world. So here's an example I was sharing with a loved one, that I would love to have a paid speaking gig on a TEDx stage, because I was encountering a lot of colleagues and friends who were doing this. And it was just a momentary thought of wow, that would be so cool to be able to do. 

Dr. T  4:16  
And so I was just simply sharing that my circle of people who I was around was accomplishing this, and how cool would it be if I can put myself in their shoes. And then suddenly this person I was sharing this with became a really uncomfortable conversation, because it was reflecting about how they felt about me, but really how they felt about themselves. What they ended up projecting onto me was that I was doing too much all the time. And I am better off focusing on doing the one thing instead. And then I thought to myself, when exactly was the last time in my life, that I just focus on doing the one thing and I thought to myself the last time that this was ever a thing was when I was Giving vaginal birth to my daughter. And that was literally the only thing I can focus on because of the pain, my spinal wasn't working, I felt every tear that was happening to the orifice of my body. And you know, I was just focused on this discomfort, but also the joy that work was to come after. 

Dr. T  5:18  
That was the only time I really ever focused on the one thing, my personality type is not ever one thing, although it would be to my benefit to do so as this person suggested, but that has never been a characteristic of mine. Whereas some people may have a great paying job, they love what they do, they're surrounded by supportive people in their work environment, and it works out for them, that is a completely great place to be, I'm just not there. So I love that for them, where they are completely happy with what they're doing. And there is no judgment about them doing too little or too much. It's just what they do, and they're completely satisfied. But my satisfaction is completely different. Because I have certain ambitions, and I want to achieve those things on my terms. For me, I'm always constantly fascinated with how the world works with what people can achieve, and ultimately how they're growing personally and professionally. And those are the things that I want. And that's just who I am at this point. 

Dr. T  6:16  
So the things that bring me joy is going to be completely different from another person, and being different is fine. It's okay to be different. It's okay to have ambition, it's okay, if you don't have ambition, you live your own life, and then you decide how you want to live it for me to get where I'm at. And to get to where I want to be oftentimes, it's putting myself in uncomfortable situations, just to see what I'm capable of. And sometimes, there is a lot of joy, and just meeting the people along the way, who are just as crazy as I am. And this can actually make a lot of people really uncomfortable, especially the people that you love and loves you because they don't have the same mentality. So what I got from this conversation, which has been on repeat for many, many years, is that the response people have on what I'm sharing is really a reflection of themselves and what they don't see themselves doing. And I know that they say what their concerns are with love and compassion, because they don't want to see me exhausted or hurt or not succeed in my ambition. 

Dr. T  7:19  
You know how those disappointments that we call life, but I don't see it that way at all. What I'm seeing, what is actually happening is that they're just expressing what they don't understand. Right? They are not reading the books that I'm reading, they are not surrounded by the people that I'm surrounded with. They're not listening to the podcast that I'm listening to. And so their worldview is totally different from mine. And that's okay. In sometimes the people who love us just don't know how to articulate their concerns. And sometimes it can come off sounding really brash, or even offensive, but you don't have to take it that way. For many people, they are just completely content with their life. 

Dr. T  7:55  
So they just don't understand why you're doing these things that seem really uncomfortable, and almost unachievable, and that's all that it is. It's just a belief beliefs are moldable, the alternative to how you respond to the situation would be to just not share at all. And sometimes that's what you have to do. You don't have to always communicate your dreams that you aspire to. And this is what I want you to take from this episode is that sometimes it's just easier to refrain from oversharing. We are in a society where we love to overshare we love to tweet everything, post about everything blog about everything. And maybe we need to take a step back and just limit our sharing limit things that are essential, like if you know what you're going to say is going to be inflammatory. 

Dr. T  8:42  
But that's not the expected result you wanted to have that just limit what you have to say to certain people. I mean, that doesn't mean don't say anything to anyone at all. No, it's just being mindful about how you spend your energy, and really leveling your expectation. Because isn't it unfair for you to expect somebody else who doesn't have the resources that you have to respond in the same way of excitement that you have in your dreams in your vision? It's kind of unfair to expect that right? So given the two options of how you can deal with somebody who doesn't support your vision, one is consuming their beliefs as your own identity. Or two, you can just limit your oversharing. So ultimately be choosy with what you say and who you say it to. Just because you want to share something with a loved one. And then they certainly respond differently. It doesn't mean that they don't love you or that they're trying to pull you down. It could just easily mean that they love you very much, but they just don't understand why you put yourself at risk and heartaches and disappointments then they're probably are not business owners themselves, which is totally okay. 

Dr. T  9:46  
We don't all have to be business owners. We don't all have to take risk. And really, you should kind of appreciate that they love you that much to share their vulnerabilities. And we can just leave it at that. Now. It's taken me a long time to accept this to be true. Which is why I said, this is a recurring problem that I have to have to, you know, expect someone to meet me where I'm at when I'm sharing my dreams. And then they suddenly try to pull me down with what they think is unreal, or it's too much, or that I'm doing too much, you know, like, whatever their beliefs are really their own, it has nothing to do with me, you might just have to come to a point where you realize there are just some people where you can speak about certain things with and that's okay to compartmentalize. 

Dr. T  10:28  
Now, here's the thing, if you are sharing your thoughts, ideas, beliefs, vision with somebody who is actively trying to pull you down, who is toxic, who does not want to see you succeed, who doesn't even really care about you, then those people you can just walk away from, you can let go of those people, even if they're your family members, you certainly don't need that in your life. So just be mindful about the company that you keep and the energy that you're spending, and really the expectations that you have so that you don't absorb other people's insecurities as your own. So to put it simply just stop oversharing just get to work, and then maybe you can meet them on the other side. So welcome to the real world of entrepreneurship in the tough love that I have to give you. You are doing fine. Just keep going. 

Dr. T  11:16  
Thank you so much for being here with me. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, please like, share and subscribe so more people like you can have access to another way of practicing medicine, that direct care way. Let's connect find my info in the show notes and send me your questions. That might be the topic for future episodes. 

Dr. T  11:36  
And lastly, if you remember nothing else, remember this be the energy you want to attract. See you next time